Envy: 3 Truths to Remember

We all have been there at some point of our lives: We see in others that what we wish so hard. It might be a relationship, wealth, professional recognition, or simpler things like a new car, a bigger house or a better body. And it feels awful.

It is a terrible feeling because we not only feel bad about the lack of such things or situations in our lives, but also because deep inside we understand that envy is one of the worst feelings in the emotional spectrum. Even when you are the kind of person that rarely feel this way, when it happens, you can feel clueless about how to deal with envy.

Envy is a Bug

And the reason why envy evokes such a negative emotion out of ourselves is not related to the negative connotations society has assigned to it. Envy is an indicator that a belief you hold is fundamentally flawed and by the surge of such a negative emotion, our emotional guidance system intents to warn us about the need to re-evaluate such belief.

If you think about the times you felt envious, you will easily realize that envy revolves around the same idea: the fact that somebody else acquires something and this means that you will not be able to acquire a similar thing or put yourself in a similar situation. Therefore, your manifestation has been frustrated by the actions of another person.

The above cannot be farther from the truth. But the thing is, as long as you consciously or subconsciously belief that the actions of others have power over your intentions or manifestations, and that wellbeing, whether financial, personal or spiritual, is a limited resource and it is depleted every time somebody else becomes successful, this will become a reality for you and life will present situations that will match such beliefs.

You will attract scarcity, not because scarcity is a rule of life, but because is what will match your emotional vibration and cannot be another way.

How to Deal With Envy

The easiest way to overcome envy is to understand that the emotion by itself is not a bad thing. Emotions are nothing more than an internal indicator of our current emotional vibration and the alignment of those vibrations with our intentions. When our vibrations differ from our intentions, we feel negative emotions (see Ring the Alarm).

So, the next time you feel envious, think about what exactly makes you feel that way. Yes, your brother-in-law does not deserve that new and bigger house right? After all, you have worked harder than him; but maybe the real reason and the source of the negative feelings is what the house represents: financial success, professional development and/or a supporting relationship with his partner.

The Truth About Envy

Once you have found out the real reason behind your feeling, remember the following:

1. Wellbeing is unlimited: Success, of any kind, is not a limited resource. Nobody is depleting the world´s reserves of success and the fact John Doe got that promotion does not mean you cannot be promoted as well. Might not be in the exact same position, but what that position represents is nothing more that professional achievement or financial improvement and that can be obtained by a hundred different ways. Getting obsessed about the particular way an outcome should manifest is not only useless, but counterproductive. When you hire a plumber to fix a leak you don’t tell him how he has to do his job; if you knew, you would have done it yourself! So stop saying to the universe how it should manifest your intentions and just stay with an open mind about the ways professional achievement or financial development might come your way.

2. Take responsibility: Nobody can create or manifest anything in your life. You are completely responsible for your circumstances and by avoiding this realization you are relinquishing your ability to create and manifest everything you want; you are making yourself powerless by choice. When you see others be or do or have something that you feel would be a good addition to your experience, remember that you have the power to make it happen.

3. Not everything is as it seems: Remember that you might not have the full picture about other’s circumstances. Maybe your coworker worked harder than you in silence, without the need to show it to anybody else, or maybe that person with the awesome relationship has invested a great deal of time and effort into it. So the next time you feel inclined to conclude that somebody else does not deserve what they have accomplished, remember that you haven’t walked a mile in their shoes nor know every little detail about their lives.

Envy is a terrible feeling, not because of the negative social connotation it carries, but because is an alarm that we are unbelievable misaligned in relation to our intentions. The way to deal with envy is not by focusing on the external aspects of our lives or about what appears to be the external sources of the feeling, but about our internal beliefs that has mislead us to feel this way.

The next time you feel this way, just stop and analyze the reasons for such feeling to emerge. Don’t condemn it or beat yourself up. Just acknowledge the use of negative emotion and set up the intention overcome it, not by force, but by the modification of the (flawed) beliefs that allows envy into your reality.