How to Overcome Anxiety and Regain Control

Few emotions have more power over our bodies than anxiety. When it kicks in we can literally lose control of ourselves. Whoever have gone through this knows that is a terrifying experience to live.

Anxiety is a consequence of believing we have no control over our circumstances. This is of course a lie, a flawed belief: In my opinion we have absolute control of everything that comes into our reality, but this is not so easy to acknowledge when we are deep into negative emotions.

When for some reason the idea that we have little or no control over our lives sinks into our minds, our subconscious fights back with all it has and anxiety is just a byproduct of that fight between the subconscious and the confused conscious mind.

When we wonder how to overcome anxiety, chances are we are already deep into it. But hard as it might be, we don’t need anything else but our own minds to set us free.

Anxiety Needs Fuel

Unlike other negative emotions, anxiety inevitably fades away over time, unless is fuelled constantly. And the fuel that perpetuates anxiety is fear of everything that “could be”, now that we “know” we have no control at all.

Fear is a whole subject in itself, but the quickest and most effective way to overcome fear is changing the way we see it and allowing it into our life. Don’t think about fear as an enemy to fight against, but as a sign pointing the way of self-improvement and personal development. For more about fear and emotional guidance, check out Fear is the Mind Killer, When Imagination Becomes the Enemy and Ring the Alarm)

When you change the way your mind sees fear, anxiety will soon run out of fuel and will fade away as quickly as it appeared.

 

Anxiety is a Straitjacket

Much like a straitjacket, the more you fight anxiety, the stronger it will become.

The best way to overcome anxiety is not fighting against it; this will only lead to failure, what reinforces fear and give anxiety more power over our minds and bodies. Fighting against anxiety is like trying to scream underwater.

The best thing you can do when wondering how to overcome anxiety is outsmart it. The next time you feel overly anxious, sit quietly and try to calm yourself down as much as you can, but have no expectations about it. Without expectations, failure is not a possibility and the whole negative loop of failure-fear-anxiety gets broken. Then think about all the reason you feel this way. At first you will feel compelled to justify every single one of them; this is ok, but keep going further within yourself.

Ask yourself the following:

What you fear?

Why you fear this?

If you fear a particular situation or event, is this imminent or something that might happen? – We often think about possible events as a sure thing, when in reality there is just a small possibility that the feared event becomes a reality.

Is this something that you can avoid?

If yes, then wouldn’t be a better use of your energy to be working towards this end? – If you feel anxious about giving a presentation at work, would be far better to be getting ready or even over prepared instead of thinking about all the things could go wrong.

If no, then would be a better use of your energy to be working on reducing the negative implications of this event? – If a loved one is terminally ill, wouldn’t be a better use of energy to be spending time with them, doing all the things we haven’t done and telling them all the things we feel we must tell them, instead of feeling anxious?

 

Journaling

Journaling as often as you can is a very useful method in order to reduce anxiety. Even when you don’t feel anxious.

Writing down our thoughts has an incredible therapeutic effect that can only be understood when we experience it first hand.

Write down your thoughts on a physical journal, on a digital word processor or use a software specially designed for it (I currently use a Mac app called Day One. It is also available for iOS); it doesn’t really matter. The important thing here is that you are as honest with yourself as you can. This is meant to be private, so nobody will have access to your thoughts. Don’t hold anything back.

Do it without any direct purpose in mind at first. Just write down everything you feel you need to get out of your chest, and I promise you, after the first time you will experience the positive effects of journaling.

Don’t beat yourself up if you feel anxious. As every emotion, is a natural thing. Understand that the root of anxiety is a flawed belief in your mind. Meditate about it until you locate it and then work to get rid of it.

 

Ask for Help

In many cases asking for help is the first thing you must do. Particularly if you realize that anxiety is not allowing you to live a fulfilling life, or even a normal one. There is no shame in asking for help when you have a problem that you find unable to control.

Be kind to yourself. Life is a journey of self-discovery and improvement. If we would have come here with all the answers, it would be a very boring journey.

 

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