Power and Happiness

Power can be seen through many points of view. Our definition of what means to be powerful is greatly influenced by the way we see ourselves in relation to the world. Are we a victim or a victimizer? Are we already in control of our reality or control is something we must struggle to achieve? Can we achieve power by individual, personal growth, or we need to be assisted by external factors (money, people, etc.)? Why we need to be or feel powerful at all? Would it make any difference if we don’t?

But the mindset of people who rely on power as a source of happiness has one thing in common: Scarcity. They experience life through a scarcity mindset. For them, life is a constant struggle to achieve a defined something in order to feel happy and seeking for power (of any kind) is the most straightforward path they can imagine.

The problem with this approach (I need “X” in order to feel “Y”) to happiness, and to any positive emotion actually  is that you will never get it done. In other words, you will never be able to acquire a high enough amount things in order to feel a certain emotion permanently.

And I say “thing” in the most extensive use of the world you could ever imagine: I mean anything physical, intellectual or emotional that you believe to be necessary in order to achieve a positive emotional state.

The Fantasy of “More”

Have you ever wanted something with all your heart, believing it could solve all and every problem in your life or cast away any negative emotion you were experiencing? Maybe a relationship with a certain person, a new job or a promotion, an award, or maybe a given amount of income is what you needed. But when you finally achieved what you believed to be the panacea to all your problems, you realized it wasn’t as good as you though. You might have felt great for a couple of days, but sooner than later you realized nothing meaningful or significant was resolved. You just found new reasons to feel bad or you conclude that what you have is not quite enough. You need more and the best way to get more, is to have more a higher amount of control over your physical circumstances, more power.

What “having more power” means to you will determinate the road you will set to achieve it. So you start looking for another relationship, a new position or job, or a bigger amount of income. With the hope that this time it will be enough.

But it will never be enough.

You could become the most powerful man or woman on earth, whatever that means to you, and yet, it will not be enough. Because the negative feelings you might be experiencing, whether it is a sense of inadequacy, fear, frustration or sadness, are not arising from the lack of material factors, but from a mindset of scarcity.

While we hold a scarcity mindset we will never be able to tap into a place of happiness for long. We might achieve happiness for a brief period of time, but we will soon start to think about all the things that we still have to archive, all the things we don’t have and others do, or how we could lose everything. So we just need a little bit more to feel really secure, being a little more in control, be just a little more powerful, and then, we will feel happy.

We won’t.

A Trampoline is not a Home

If we are completely sunken in negative emotion and by placing our focus on power or control we can get out of it, even for a brief moment, then by all means we should do so. Anything is better than to feel bad for a long period of time. We could be dragged into depression or hopelessness.

But don’t rely on power and control, and in the achievement of more, for long-term happiness. We can use it as a trampoline if needed, but always acknowledging is just a stepping stone towards a better, more stable approach to happiness.

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