Redefining Security

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” – Helen Keller

We all want to feel secure.

Our own nature makes us crave for security in order to push our survival as a specie. But security doesn’t mean what it meant 5,000 million years ago. Yet, we keep defining what security means and represents the same way our ancestors did.

Define Security

What it means feeling secure to you? Strip down to the basics, being secure means nothing more than knowing for certain that your basic need are covered; that everything is going to be, at least, Ok.

There is nothing wrong with seeking for security. After all, if our basic needs are not fully covered, how can we expect to pursue further goals or dreams, or to help someone else pursue their goals and dreams? If we don’t know how we are going to pay the rent at the end of the month, self-improvement and personal development can hardly be seen as a priority.

But if this is true, how is that so many people are able to produce significant results towards their goals and intentions despite the absence of financial or emotional security? How is it that some people are able to start a new business while completely broke and with little or no income and with no guarantee of success? How some people are able to fully commit to an emotional or romantic relationship, even after coming out of a previous abusive or traumatic one?

And in the same way, how is that even when some people have covered their basic needs, and a few additional ones, they are paralyzed and unable to take action towards their dreams and goals; and in many cases don’t even feel secure at all?

The Importance of Perspective

I believe the difference between those who are able to go forward even in the absence of security and those who feel paralyzed even when they should feel secure, at least in theory, is that both groups of individuals approach to security from very different angles.

The first group of individuals, those who thrive no matter what, see security as trusting in yourself — in your ability to think and to take action. As long as you have the ability to think and take action, you’re secure. Given this mindset you could be homeless and still feel secure. Why? Because you still have the ability to think and act — your current situation is only a temporary setback. It’s not a threat to your security. So even while you may be in a financially unstable situation, external circumstances don’t threaten your security. Your security is guaranteed. It cannot be turned off by external events.

While the second group of individuals, those who struggle with feeling secure, even when their needs are more than covered, typically define security from an outside perspective. For them security is given amount of dollars in the bank, a house that’s fully paid for, a stable high-paying job with benefits, a solid relationship with the boss, a car that runs well, etc. Security is all about the externals. If the externals are stable, this person feels secure. But when the externals are threatened, such as the possibility of getting laid off, then this person doesn’t feel secure. This person will spend a lot of time striving to get these external factors in order. This approach is the most common one, and most of us have defined security by this standard at some point.

Now when it comes time to take action, you can see why one group will be paralyzed, while the other group will speed ahead

So given that most people don’t start out with sufficient resources to satisfy the external definition of security, those that define their security this way won’t be able to take action to go after their dreams until all the external factors are met. They’ll be waiting and waiting until they have enough money to feel secure, and only after that happens will they be able to go after their dreams. Most of the time, this will never happen — the person will die before they satisfy all these external factors. On the other hand, if they do manage to acquire sufficient resources to pursue their dreams, and their security is again threatened (for example, they lose too much money), then it’s time to put the dreams on hold and re-establish external security. This is a hugely ineffective way to pursue your dreams. In most cases it just won’t work at all. You’ll spend your whole life pursuing security instead . And sadly, this is what most people currently do.

It’s a Choice

Having an external perspective of security is paralyzing. If you define security externally, you’ll always be victimized by factors outside your control. But an internal locus of control is empowering. If you define security internally, you’ll always have that need met, no matter what happens outside your control. And thus, you’ll always be able to take action on your dreams, no matter what happens.

So how do you move from one group to the other? It’s nothing more than a choice. Just as you may have chosen to define security externally, you can choose to do the opposite. You can choose to look externally for verification of who you are and what you’re capable of (this is what most people do). Or you can look internally instead.