The Urge To Give Up – What It Means and How to Handle It

When was the last time you felt like giving up?

Every time I am pursuing a goal and I feel like giving up, I get angry with myself.

Why do I feel this way? – I wonder – Where does this random urge to walk away comes from?

Is not a conscious thought or desire, because I usually understand the motivation behind the pursuing of my goals.

Then, why I want to give up?

 

Self-Sabotage?

I now understand that what used to make me angry wasn’t the urges to give up, but failing to understand what such urges meant.

You see, I used to think that feeling like giving up was a flaw of my own subconscious mind. That my emotional guidance system was betraying me by pointing out my weaknesses and asking me to quit the pursuing of my goals.

I used to think feeling like giving up was an act of self-sabotage.

And of course, I was wrong.

 

Checkpoint

When we feel like giving up, we aren’t doing anything more than asking ourselves how much do we want this?

Our mind is not sabotaging our possibilities; it’s only calibrating our priorities before we hit a tipping point on the path to our dreams and goals.

In other words, the urges to give up are nothing more than checkpoints we put ourselves through in order to confirm that we are really on the right path. To validate if the dream we have been pursuing is really aligned with our purpose or if it’s nothing more than a whim.

Imagine that I dare you to run 10 miles straight. And imagine that for some bizarre reason, you accept the challenge. You are decided to show me what you are made of, right?

If you are not a professional runner or an athletic person, chances are you will feel like giving up way before hitting the 10 miles. And you probably will give up, because the reasons behind your goal are not solid enough.

But now imagine that what was on the line is the life of the person you love the most. You will feel the urge to give up at some point anyway, but giving up just won’t be a choice. You might feel tired, in pain and you might even faint before hitting the 10 miles, but you will not consciously give up. Not because you won’t feel the urge, but because you have absolutely no doubt about the importance of reaching your goal.

 

When You Feel Like Giving Up

The thing is that most goals and dreams in our everyday lives are not seen as black and white or as dramatic as having the life of a loved one on the line (thankfully).

So when we feel like giving up, we tend to rationalize the reasons we have to do so. Self-doubts start to crawl or we try to find ways to diminish the consequences of not achieving our goals.

And in some cases, giving up might very well be the best thing we can do. There is no pride in holding on to a dream that doesn’t excite us anymore.

But the most important thing to understand when we feel like giving up is to acknowledge what this means. To stop for a second and ponder if we really want what we are pursuing. If the answer is yes, accept the urges to give up, but keep walking despite such urges.

Don’t ignore the checkpoint, but don’t allow yourself to be stopped by it if you have concluded that you want to keep moving forward.

Expect the Urge to Give Up

You will want to give up. It doesn’t matter what motivates you, what might be on the line or the consequences of giving up, you will want to walk away at some point.

Be prepared for the arrival of this urge even before you start walking your path to your goals or dreams. When the time comes, all your reason to go on will be challenged and you better be ready to justify such reasons to yourself.

If you cannot justify the importance of pursuing your goals and dreams, maybe you are on the wrong path; in which case, the checkpoint of wanting to give up has worked wonderfully. This is a good thing.

The allure of freedom that giving up promises provides is hard to resist if it catches us off guard.

You Might Also Like

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like How to Deal With Self-Doubt: 5 Proven Methods, How to Overcome Anxiety and Regain Control and When Imagination Becomes the Enemy. Check them out and let me know what you think!

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