Two Rights Don’t Make a Wrong

We all perceive the world around us differently. What I have won and what I have lost is different from what you have won and what you have lost. My goals might be similar to yours, but the ultimate motivation behind them will likely differ.

We are all different and this is a fact we often ignore. We try to measure other people’s actions by our own set of rules and principles, without realizing that our rules and principles may have been born out of a common source of knowledge (usually our culture), but were heavily shaped by our own personal experiences and might not be applicable to other individuals’ circumstances.

This one-size-fits-all approach is not limited to ethic or moral behavior. We commonly assume how other people think, feel and wish, according to our own point of view, and when our assumptions do not match the real thoughts, feelings and wishes of that individual, we conclude there must be something wrong with them.

But there isn’t anything wrong with them. We simply failed to realize that our view of the world and everything inside it, including people, places and ideas, is fundamentally personal.

Our opinions are important to us because helps us to make sense of the world and slowly set the foundations of our character. Once we have a fully formed character we don’t need to analyze everything around us in detail. The subconscious in autopilot can quickly categorize the events we perceive and apply general rules based on our accepted opinions and beliefs. This is useful for self-assessment and in need of a quick response, but is a poor tool when dealing with relationships.

Beliefs, and therefore overall behavior, goals and opinions, are continually shaped by our experiences, and influencing future experiences equally.

Two individuals might hold completely opposite beliefs and be equally right.

The next time you feel inclined to tell somebody that their opinions, preferences or beliefs are wrong, hold on for a second and acknowledge that the fact that you are right doesn’t mean others’ have to be wrong.