How many times have you restrained yourself from doing something because you just knew how bad it would go? And how many times have you realized that your “knowing” was completely wrong or exaggerated?
Imagination is a great tool to creative work, but incredibly lazy when it comes to predicting future events. Such predictions are usually based on past experiences, while ignoring or failing to properly access the knowledge acquired by such experiences. We often jump to incorrect conclusions that affect our decisions and experiences, and therefore, our personal development.
Human beings tend to avoid immediate discomfort more aggressively than to seek long term pleasure. That’s why we are not very good at saving today, even when we know it will mean a great deal of pleasure in the future, and why we fail to go to the gym, even when we are aware of the negative implications it will have in our bodies and our overall health.
But what I find more interesting is the flawed process of decision making based on non-existent knowledge or flawed beliefs. In other words, how and why we come to conclude that the possibility of a negative outcome is so high that we avoid the situation altogether? Even when we have no prior evidence or experiences related directly to such situation.
A fresh personal example is public speaking. Since the beginning of time I have hated public speaking. For no particular reason, I hate to speak in front of an audience. I have never had a negative experience related to public speaking, but I dislike it. Is not a pathological issue, I have given presentations when needed, but I have avoided when possible.
A Case Study
A few months ago I had to present my graduate thesis. I had been working on it for nearly two years and I was pretty happy with the results and proud of the outcome. However, I had consciously ignored the known fact that it will come the day when I will have to present the results in front of an academic jury. And when that day approached, I became increasingly anxious. I came to the conclusion that everything will go wrong and I will go down in flames. And all of this for no particular reason. I was very well prepared and aware that I knew more about the subject that any other person in the room, including the jurors. I could mess up and say something completely wrong or inaccurate and no one will be able to correct me. Yet, I wondered every 15 minutes what the hell was I thinking when I got myself into this.
The dissertation went amazing and after the whole thing I felt relieved and also foolish. I had felt miserable for the last two weeks for no logical reason. It was so clear now; but I also knew, by experience, that it does not seem so clear when you are full of anxiety.
Your Own Worst Enemy
I had no logical reason to believe a negative outcome was highly possible, but my mind had reached such conclusion by itself. And I realize now that this is more common that we believe. It happens to us every day. We avoid situations that could represent a great deal of personal development, success or simply happiness because we seriously (but illogically) believe we are betting our life on it.
Unless you are a firefighter or a CIA Agent, chances are that the worst possible outcome out of anything you do will be embarrassment, which is by itself a whole subject we will address in a different occasion. But the point is, fear is often irrational and prevents us from achieving a great deal goals and experiences.
The next time you feel anxious about a particular endeavor, stop for a minute and think if your anxiety or fears are based on logical, verified facts or is just your ego fooling your mind to protect itself.
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It’s so true we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to imagining poor outcomes. Public speaking seems to take this to a new level of absurdity for most people, myself included!
It is so true, the same part creative source that leads us to be our highest potential is also the wellspring of fear and feelings of unworthiness. I try to label the negative thoughts, “not useful” and avoid camping out there.
I think you make some excellent points. Sometimes we tend to focus on the negative so much that we convince ourselves that we are unable to overcome our anxiety, when that is indeed untrue.
GREAT POST! I am always freaking myself out, and stopping myself from doing certain things because of “knowing” how bad things can go! I also get soooo (unnecessarily) nervous when giving presentations in front of my class. What was your graduate thesis on?
It happens to everybody at some point, but the fact that we are able to acknowledge this is already a step in the right direction! The thesis was about corporate spin off as a method for company restructuring. It’s more interesting that how it sounds…
You’ve touched on an important truth. Trust and honor yourself.
So true, today I had my quarterly view at work, and they said they think I am holding myself back because I am afraid to take initiative and I’m afraid of responsibility. It comes down to everything you just said here. I’m afraid to try because I am afraid that the outcome will be bad. Thanks, this is really encouraging! 🙂
Often when we focus on something (ie. Bad outcomes or our fears, etc.) the outcome usually tends to materialize in a manner near to the “worst case”. Energy flows where attention goes….I learned this at the Haven institute on Gabriola Island and have since also experienced it as well many times in good and bad. Awesome post!
[…] When Imagination Becomes the Enemy […]
Reblogged this on Silverliningminds and commented:
A perception to give in.
“The next time you feel anxious about a particular endeavor, stop for a minute and think if your anxiety or fears are based on logical”